I want to grow young!!!!

I rang my old mate Leslie today, he is in his eighties. His new project is a music machine that you wind up. Recons it will take him fifteen years to complete and he wants that letter from the queen the queen in England that is. Yes he will make it. He is doing art and one day a week goes and paints the nudes. He is the proverbial Alf Garnet from the show Step Toe and Son, good English humor. He is a laugh a minute and a great man to boot. He started off in a auction house on day and they had a chair for $1 and he thought that would be OK and placed his bid, and it was knocked down to him, Little did he know he just bought 400 of them for a dollar. He managed to load them onto his small truck and sold them for five dollars each by going to the local businesses in Botany on the way home. He arrived home with $1995 and one chair.
I did the same with a Bob cat bucket Bought it for nine dollars cause that's all I had and had it loaded it onto my little truck and went home for lunch and was abused for bringing rubbish home. I had lunch and had it sold for three hundred dollars with in the hour. Her royal hind arse wanted the money. I bought the truck and drove it home and was abused for buying "a heap of shit" for a grand. The first job was the transportation of explosives (fire works) over state lines with out a permit and earned several thousand dollars for eight hours work. Then there was the lawn mower I bought for 100 bucks and made five grand with it.
Being a bit arty I enrolled in sign writing and my first job was painting a sign for Aussie Motors It had a kangaroo on the sign done in yellow with a blue roo, When I draughted the image on the sign it was facing away from the car yard well Aussie complained that the Kangaroo was bounding away from his yard and could I change it so it would be bounding toward his yard. He sold over a hundred cars while I was painting that sign and said he wanted me to stay there to change the sign every day to keep the customers coming in. Wouldn't you believe it I also spelt his name flaming wrong and he never complained re do it he said I was there for over a week and he paid me well.