Home invasion

I went to see a couple of mates the other day and left my house locked and in the charge of my wife and the dogs. It was late when I got home that is it was dark at 7.00 pm....When I came in the drive way I could hear the dogs going ballistic in the back yard. Thinking that they were overly happy to hear me coming in. I got out of the car and yelled at them to shut up because of the noise. It seemed funny that the house was in darkness as  the wife used to leave the lights on. I went to open the door and you wouldn't believe the friggen door was open. I turned on the lights and called out and silence was the reply. Thinken where is the cook I went to all the rooms and blow me down she wasn't there and the back door was open. Being tired  I want to bed and in the morning I was reinforced she wasnt there. I fed the dogs and wondered where she was. Thinking the cars still there and all her things are there and her hand bag was gone.
I rang my mate and said that the wife was gone along with about two hundred dollars in change, him being a funny bastard said lucky bastard whats the problem. I said Im serious she aint here, The reply came, that's why you came over here to get an allaby yesterday, Now I was being serious and he was friggen joking. Then it dawned on me I could be in serious trouble if she didn't turn up and I told him so and that I didn't do her in.  He said to ring the local hospital so I did after finally finding the number in the telephone book. (See previous post) I gets on to this shela called Karen and she said she would ring me back after checking. well she didn't ring me she rang the police and informed them. Im struggling to find the police number in the phone book and they ring me and asked if my wife was there. I said to them how did you know as I was trying to find the police number in the phone book. They said the hospital rang them Karen must have known how hard it was to find the number and did it for me.
I had to file a missing persons report which I did. I rang my son who is a copper and he said he hoped they found her as I was number one suspect. Thinking to earlier times when she was put in hospital and in a lapse of sanity she told them I was conspiring to kill her with this other woman and the Sargent of the local police came out to arrest me, I was lucky that me old mate Donny spoke up for me.
Seven days went by and the police finally rang and said she was in hospital.
What a relief I was off the hook.
Turns out the mental health came and took her away, left the house open and in darkness. I went in and made several complaints as to what had happened and how it happened.
The next day I get a phone call from mental health and they were concerned that I said that they took the money....................................................................................
After a long silence..........................I said "what".......................another long silence..................... THEY REPEATED  THAT THEY DIDN'T TAKE THE MONEY................. Then I said I don't give a fuck about the money and I wasnt going to proceed down this line and that this matter was over. They hung up and didn't let me know where or how my wife was. Strange bastards they should book them selves into the hospital and inject themselves with those stranger drugs... Talk about nut cases they take the cake...I have now been declared single by the government and can see what my mate meant. Whats your problem??
Whats your problem?

pain

Sickness in small doses is good for the soul, it makes the good times feel better. Try this next time you are sick laugh  smile tell jokes and the like. Why do I tell you these things? My son was one of those kids that feels pain and he wanted attention from the doctors and the result was the same long wait and no result. thinking how I deal with these situations I took him to my mate Rodney, Now Rodney was a genuinely funny character what you would call a comedian. So instead of turning to go to the hospital I turned to go to Rodney's place and the patient wanted to know where we were going and I said to this new doctor I found. We arrived at Rodney's place and the patient wouldn't get out of the car. I tooted the horn and out came Rodney with in three minutes Rodney had the patient in fits of laughter. I asked how much he charged for the consultation and he said it was free the best medical diognosis and a good result best doctor or should I say quack I have ever been to. Rodney called the patient his mister fix it man and my son made friends with Rodney. I first meet Rodney at a garage sale I was having and he stayed and we laughed constantly for an hour and I finally asked Rodney what he did for a living and he said he was a comedian. So I asks what name did he go under and he said Rodney Rude. I haven't seen Rodney for years so if you read this drop me a line. Do a google search and you should find him....

Recycled wall

The above wall was made with broken footpaths that were laid like bricks.

 Heavy weather and high water from flooding has distroyed the wall.

 There is large concrete slabs in the water.

The wall was broken from the back by water washing in from behind. The other thing that also added to the destruction was it was too straight.

The longest time to build a house in the world

This house was started in the 1990s and this is as far as it got before red tape intervened. This is from the city of innervation "Wollongong" the street is Arter ave. It holds the worlds record for the time to build a house to lock up in the world..

 The above photo shows the main sewer pipe that was broken and a diversion was put down the next block of land. The house behind lost its back yard when the hill slid away,Red tape stopped the work and gravity took hold with the help of heavy rain.

 The photo above shows the foot path out the front.

Makes me smile as to the incompetence of the powers to be.

Vivid imagination

I was in the bush near here and I came across some rubbish thrown out and it was all toys. I gathered up a bundle of them and took them home and placed them out the front of my house with a sign saying free. Well strike me down they lasted about five minutes and they even took the sign. What do you do with knowledge of more toys still left in the bush after a weeks rain. My granddaughter came down the following day and it was perfect weather and good weather for a treasure hunt. We drove out to the area and left the car and after priming her up for about and hour about treasure hunt we were off. Following behind and walking slow to increase the suspense she stumbled onto the toys in the bush.....The smiles and the fun she had looking at all the toys still there she was aloud to take five toys as there were other children that might like to find toys as well. She chose wisely and several small figures and a pirate ship were chosen to be left at grandpas house for when she visited. 

I want to grow young!!!!

I rang my old mate Leslie today, he is in his eighties. His new project is a music machine that you wind up. Recons it will take him fifteen years to complete and he wants that letter from the queen the queen in England that is. Yes he will make it. He is doing art and one day a week goes and paints the nudes. He is the proverbial Alf Garnet from the show Step Toe and Son, good English humor. He is a laugh a minute and a great man to boot. He started off in a auction house on day and they had a chair for $1 and he thought that would be OK and placed his bid, and it was knocked down to him, Little did he know he just bought 400 of them for a dollar. He managed to load them onto his small truck and sold them for five dollars each by going to the local businesses in Botany on the way home. He arrived home with $1995 and one chair.
I did the same with a Bob cat bucket Bought it for nine dollars cause that's all I had and had it loaded it onto my little truck and went home for lunch and was abused for bringing rubbish home. I had lunch and had it sold for three hundred dollars with in the hour. Her royal hind arse wanted the money. I bought the truck and drove it home and was abused for buying "a heap of shit" for a grand. The first job was the transportation of explosives (fire works) over state lines with out a permit and earned several thousand dollars for eight hours work. Then there was the lawn mower I bought for 100 bucks and made five grand with it.
Being a bit arty I enrolled in sign writing and my first job was painting a sign for Aussie Motors It had a kangaroo on the sign done in yellow with a blue roo, When I draughted the image on the sign it was facing away from the car yard well Aussie complained that the Kangaroo was bounding away from his yard and could I change it so it would be bounding toward his yard. He sold over a hundred cars while I was painting that sign and said he wanted me to stay there to change the sign every day to keep the customers coming in. Wouldn't you believe it I also spelt his name flaming wrong and he never complained re do it he said I was there for over a week and he paid me well.

Li-po battery explosion

These batteries can explode when mistreated, Do not over charge or charge at more than the recommended rate. cause they can and will explode. If the core temperature goes higher than recommended they will explode. One of my friends who uses these batteries got third degree burns to his hands stomach and fore head as the result of an explosion. These batteries are used in mobile phones, lap tops, high speed electric boats, power tools and can over heat if they are insulated and the devices core overheats they will explode. Do not leave unattended when charging. Dispose of correctly do not throw in rubbish bins as they can cause fires in a rubbish tip. Do not leave in the sun.
If used correctly they are safe.....